WHAT IS THE AVERAGE PERSON
ACROSS FROM YOU
LIKELY TO BE LIKE?
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“Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives, and few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of the times."
- Voltaire
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“No one lies so boldly as someone indignant.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
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They are fearful, fearful you’ll soon find out how precious little they know about the very thing they are pontificating about.
They are in this to win. This is a burden they have that you don’t. If you don’t wish to win, can you lose? Help them relax. Once you understand this, you can be more gracious than you’d normally be.
Most of the time, the idea has the person you’re talking to, rather than the person you’re talking to having the idea.
The stakes are very high for the person you are speaking to. Often his/her entire identity is tied up in his/her position. Be considerate.
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He or she is likely to be nervous or angry or both.
Be understanding.
Unwittingly, they may be part of today’s “cancel culture”, so you’d be wise to see him/her as one who preaches tolerance while practicing intolerance.
“Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.
- George Orwell
Their aching for significance often weighs on them. Their need for importance makes listening to you calmly lay out your reasoning can literally paralyze their ears. In other words, their brain instructs their ears to close and their face to curl in a sneer. Be sympathetic.
Do seek to cultivate a relationship, one based on trust.
Keep in mind that true, heart-felt passion married to reason is very powerful. This is especially true if you are explaining your own pilgrim’s road to Christ.
Don’t think for a moment
that your friend is truly interested
in what you believe,
or why you believe it.
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Herd instinct is real.
Many people find
their identity in the herd.
If you encounter a ferocity
that appears to be uncalled for,
it is likely you have triggered
the fear of a herd member. Challenging a group belief can be a serious matter to someone for whom standing alone is an impossibility.
The difference between opinions and facts
is often lost on the person
you are talking to.
We will discuss responses
that are geared
to open ears.
Anyone enjoy being
talked down to?
Anyone enjoy being
talked over?
Anyone enjoy being
sneered at?
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Anyone enjoy being
told what to believe by someone with an air of superiority?
Anyone enjoy being
scolded?
Consider your own case, which has made true change possible for you;
a) power
b) influence?
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Do you realize how difficult
it is for anyone to admit
they are wrong
about anything?
You are my prime example.
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Always measure progress
in a discussion properly.
If persuasion is your goal,
then accept trust building,
slight movement,
and getting your discussion-mate
to actually acknowledge
your point of view
as satisfactory results.
